01 | 017 | voice

[resultofwar]

I don't usually talk about myself because I've been trained to keep everything private, and to not get close to other people. Friendships and allies are connections I shouldn't need to get my job done correctly.

But I miss Cooper and I don't know how to handle that. I've never had an adult actually care about me like that before outside of being a weapon or a soldier to train. I think Odin cared, but he didn't show it the way most of you would expect a parent to. Cooper knew what I was capable of, but he still looked out for me.

I feel like the Barge is wearing away walls I need to do my job correctly, if I ever went home. But I actually don't really give a damn about what I did. I regret some of the deaths my orders were responsible for, but the cause wasn't really mine to fight for. I just followed orders because I don't know how to do anything else. I know I was fighting for the right side, I just don't care about the outcome of the war itself.

Also I think you're all ridiculous for assuming that just because I'm a teenager that I'm not particularly capable or dangerous. I'm probably responsible for more deaths than most of you.

[Private to Olive]

I want to talk about this with you but don't know how to ask you about it.

[Private to Naoto]

I am incredibly embarrassed about how my port counterpart acted during our "dragon hunt" and I hope you aren't planning on making any assumptions about me based on who I was there because thus far I respect you.

[ooc: lol affected. c: This will all be retroactively private when the flood is over.]

Comments

Private - WAIT WHAT IS THIS?

[glad-of-war.livejournal.com]

You think who cared?

Private - HIDEOUS NAME CONFUSION

[resultofwar]

Odin. He was an assassin and raised me until I was eight. He taught me everything I know how to do.

Private - AHAHA BEAUTIFUL! WEDNESDAY JUST DOES NOT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS.

[glad-of-war.livejournal.com]

An assassin, eh? Gods be damned the things people get up to.

He give himself that name, or were his parents just incredibly pretentious?

Private - DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT SECRELTLY YOUR KID

[resultofwar]

I don't know. I never asked him and he never talked about his family.

HAVE DOUBLE THE NAME CONFUSION AND DOUBLE THE AFFECTED

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm shocked and confused that you mentioned the name Odin, mostly because I know an Odin and sincerely hope that isn't him.

I totally didn't even make the connection until today xD

[resultofwar]

I doubt it, we're not from the same universe.

And now you have ALL THE GODS right on Heero's back.

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

I'm still slightly paranoid, now.

[Private] affected c:

[nicebluehat.livejournal.com]

I met the squirrel. If you and my unwanted squire are as different as the two of them, I certainly can't make any assumptions.

Next time, I'll know to bring you back with me so neither of us suffer any further embarrassment.

[Private] excellent c:

[resultofwar]

Don't worry about it, despite being an idiot, my life there was happier than the one I've got now.

[Private]

[nicebluehat.livejournal.com]

I think most people's lives were happier. It was supposed to be like a children's story, where there was no real pain that couldn't be quickly repaired with a spell or a rescuer in shining armor. I never met myself there, but I wonder who she would have been.

[darknessb4me]

I don't think it's right to teach a teenager any of this. Not that you aren't capable of being a soldier, just that once a person becomes one I don't think they can go back.

[resultofwar]

I don't think they can either.

[darknessb4me]

Why were you taught?

[sixthanimorph.livejournal.com]

... You're affected by the flood.

[There's a curious flatness to his voice. He doesn't sound surprised, or pleased, or even disappointed.]

[resultofwar]

Yeah.

[Totally normal flatness here.]

[Private]

[sixthanimorph.livejournal.com]

[Huh. He wasn't expecting this. But, hell, he'll probably never get another chance to find out.]

Why'd you turn against me?

[Private]

[worstsongever]

[Oh boy. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy.]

You know what? I think we should get ice cream and ships and soda and camp out in my room. And talk. Did you think of Cooper like a parent?

[Private]

[resultofwar]

Yeah, I guess I did. I know that doesn't make sense, because he isn't my parent and I've never really had a typical parent/child relationship with anyone so I have nothing to compare it to, but... yeah.

And that sounds nice.

[Private]

[worstsongever]

You've watched some of my movies. We could read some books about it, if you want....no, wait, I'll do you one better. When this flood's over, I'll ask the Admiral if I can bring you to my world to stay with my family for a little while. Maybe a week? You can meet my parents. It'll be good for you.

Private

[una_persson]

How long have you been a soldier, then?

Private

[resultofwar]

As long as I can remember.

Re: Private

[una_persson]

That explains a lot. I've met others who were child soldiers before.

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

Really, you're better off not bothering with friends or regrets. From what I can tell, they're more of an annoyance than anything.

[resultofwar]

That's the exact opposite of what I've been hearing since I got here, and I kind of think you're an idiot for feeling that way.

[notrueking.livejournal.com]

That seems to be a common opinion. Personally, given how humans have an irritating tendency towards self-sacrifice, I consider them to be a health hazard more than anything else.